BE Someone Who Makes You Happy!

th44LRHR9A…and allow OTHERS the GIFT of BEING that for themselves!
I am a recovering ENABLER. I have been guilty of OFFERING a starving soul a plateful of FISH, instead of ALLOWING him to LEARN how to fish, for HIMSELF. If I feed him, he then thinks that I AM THE WAY, instead of realizing that I was just SHOWING him, that THERE IS A WAY.
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From well intentioned hearts, we offer ADDICTS their drug of choice, dependence. But I HELP others! It’s what DAUGHTERS do! It’s what MOTHERS do! It’s what WIVES do! It’s what ALL GOOD people do,…right? SUPPORT beside them, do not HOIST them up with your own strength. We need to ALLOW others to fully FEEL the rich LESSONS buried in their own PAIN, and ALLOW them to FIND their OWN STRENGTH to raise themselves up.
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I have been changing the TYPE of support I offer those whom I love. Do not be mistaken, they will NOT be HAPPY nor UNDERSTAND your new type of support. It is important that you RESIST the temptation to feed your own GUILT. Do NOT do another person’s emotional HOMEWORK for them. Allow others to OWN their own unhappiness, in order that they FEEL what THEY must do.
…and one day they will finally understand the lesson.
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“NEVER PUT YOUR KEY TO HAPPINESS IN SOMEONE ELSE’S POCKET.”

Comments

4 Comments

  • 4highergood

    Reply Reply October 13, 2015

    Excellent – LOVE this (from a fellow recovering enabler😀).

  • nrhatch

    Reply Reply October 13, 2015

    Yes! Yes! Yes! I’ve gotten better at saying, “If I’m Plan A . . . what’s Plan B?” to encourage them to look for other solutions.

  • Mel Morfitt

    Reply Reply October 13, 2015

    I get SO excited when other’s FEEL this stuff too! Kinship. <3

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